Everything is lifeless. Everything is colorless, mute and just out of order. -The moment I read this sentence on one of my favourite blogs by Ibhog I couldn’t help but relate to it..It is by far the closest description of what I feel. This is exactly what my life has turned into .. mute and colorless, almost lifeless.

The more I try to add meaning to it the more it becomes clear that I’m running in an endless road. It’s not that I’ve only lost some things along the way.. I also lost the hope that was pushing me to continue down that road. How does one continue walking without any reason to. And if I want to stop, what do I have to do to stop this endless race. Can I make it stop?! And if I stop will anyone notice?! Would it make any difference!? I think not. So what’s the use of the race anyway?!

This is not a very new state of mind for me.. I think I’ve been to this place in my mind before but I think this is the farthest I’ve been in this jungle of thoughts. I don’t know if this is rock bottom that one has to hit before they go back up or have I already been damaged beyond fixing.